Yesssssssssss. Today was amazingly wuow ! see, so I woke up with a really semangat intention. " holiday's tomorrow, let's make this a good one so you would not regret anything ". Well, mission accomplished . It rained again yesterday night. well. PE was fantastic ! Yes, we got punished, we gotta run 2 rounds. but damn, it's fun. For that, I celebrated. Had a healthy meal during recess, accompanied by some egg tart. & popiah after school. well, I don't care if my tummy gros big enough to fit you, hey, I was celebrating. hahhaha.Literature is always fun. How could it be not. It's dionne & brijesh. haha. Then, well, yes recess was well, nice ? haha. then yes yes. lessons. English is the most, well , how you put it, boring ? yes yes, it is. well okaye then. I'm gonna go sleep .

School is so much more fun than staying at home, don't you think ? haha

HAH.


eat that. XD. Ooooooh, I love communicating. Thanks for every one who encouraged me to speak up. Thanks for my then-ego for pushing me off the cliff . It made my day , really.

Alright, okay. There's really nothing much happened today. Yes, maybe if I pay attention to little details, this post will be a snake-long one, it will be every day. well, okay quick glance ! bumped to friend, MCD, the call, hawker, home. yes yes yes. that's all. bye.

I'm not in a committing kinda mood.

so. today was okay okay okay okay, I guess. Yes. Miami vs Bulls, caught ! Caramel frappe & cheese tomorrow ! Well, hope it will be a productive day, tomorrow. yeaaay. 3-hr tuition is a piece of cake now. haha. Maan, my tutor has more life than me. well, whatever. I'm gonna get my life back after mid-year. How life is life anyway ? well. anyway, I prefer to score well in my mid-year. hahahhahha, as if I could. Alright. gonna go study at 6. yeh yeh yeh.

Oh, seeing guys shooting balls turn me on. haha. well, not any guy, I think. well. okay

My friend created the word indeed.

Okay. there'd go my dinner. 3 pieces of toasted bread, well, let's pretend it's enough since brother said " stop cooking , already " *shrug. So 3-hr of sleep was really enjoyable ! Despite those glass-breaking thunders, it was muach sweet. Ss paper was, well surprise surprise, screwed. erh, I'm not ready for O level trust me. This, I can't deal with laaaah. It felt like yesterday, really, it felt like yesterday that I've received a sms from my then-crush at 4:30 AM. Alaaaah. Erm, well, nothing much, I'm reaaaaally, whatcha called that. oh. tired. well yeah, okay. english paper was sweet I guess. tah.

It just came across my mind.
I am always the one who adjust to the world.


Like say, when I don't receive the fair share of love I supposed to get, I tell myself, over & over, that because I'm better and hence , I have to be one.
Or maybe, because I amthe daughter of the famous contractor, I will have to act like I'm mighty and deserve such privilege when all I want to do is something that's far from that.
Or maybe, that just because my dad's ageing, I have to finish my studies soon & got sent to foreign country when I'm actually dead set agaisnt it.
Or maybe, that because I'm not feeling comfortable in shouting at people, or calling people bitch, or push people around. People do that to me, and I just have to smile it away, not because I can't do the same, but I'm expected not to.
Or maybe, because I'm expected not to be angry, I always be the one who made to feel guilty just because, for god's sake, you ate the wrong food or you didn't do things right.

No one asked me to adjust myself. Yes, I know. but I'm expected to, because I'm lupita.

Now tell me, I'm the most selfless girl you've ever known. Then, maybe because of this, I will become the most selfish. well. screw you.

Suns - lakers. Suns is good good good ! Stoudemire Barbosa Nash & Marion. Man, these people are wuow. Finally, I've watched last year nba all-star James, Howard and Shaq's dancing competition. Man, It's hillarious, Im telling you. Thank you for telling me about the link. School was alright.

It rains, again. What are you, tripping ?

Akong get into NUS !!!!!! i'm proud Im proud Im proud. I always know he could make it anyway. yay !! :)

& you sed my smiles warm you heart. You don't know. You don't know what you could do. You are my heart, love. You do the science for me ;)

It's exactly a month and 4 days more to O LEVEL. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. i could just die, someone kill me please before I get to stress and in the end, think about slittting my wrist. Jesus. But I studied today, in school ! haha. Man studying is nice.

BYE.

Your touch sent chills down my spine, and just like that, sweetheart, My world came crushing to the ground. It's my lung you shot, silly. You made me want to gather you in my arms. On second thought, maybe It's my mind you shot. But still, I'm still glad that you had.


The dark clouds out there don't augur ill of my mood. off study.

& I'm sitting here with a blank expression that I could not even fathom out whether it's really a piece of oblivion or , a piece of serenity. At times, I just want to rewind and keep on re-rewinding till I get to do something right, but it's as good as gathering the wind in my hand, I will never capture it. so I tell myself over and over again to get things done right, well, at least to try my best. But look at me. God, my parents will disown me if what I've done has come to their knowledge. Yes, you may think what's the worst could have I done other than over-spending my allowance for the month. Hah. Your view of me would not even matter because it's not even half as true of what I think of myself. You think what I want you all to think of me. Some happy spoilt brat who comes to school to do nothing but to flirt. Well, I have not welcome you guys to my house, haven't I ? . Nothing further, Your Highness.

I've just erased a post that could make you think, wonder and ponder if I'm actually talking shits about you and put it up on my blog while thinking how much of a coward I am that I have no guts to say it in your face when matter of fact, I could but I won't. I know enough not to do so.

3-hr of tuition is survivable. Yes, it is for me. Why ain't it when your tutor allowed you to turn on the musics and know who're the singers and said " hey, it's a good song " to pink - just like a pill, and tried to rap along to eminem's lose yourself & even asked you how to download songs from multiply.com . And he's done the exact path I'm supposed , and expected, to walk along.

At times, I just want to feel it. Yes, at times.

I like my class' people. If it weren't for them, maybe I would not know that I could use butter instead of oil to fry sausages. If it weren't for them, I'll have half as much fun going to school as I have now. Ye maybe one or two people never fail to send me off, but hell, the rest of them, they are love .

Whatever happened to good-friends activities. Now, we can't even eat lunch side by side ? God. Revive the world's sense of fun, I'm begging. oh, I failed my POA test ! hahha. Damn it. Okay, starting from tomorrow onwards. I'm really really, seriously, solemnly going to study.. I hope. Besides. one sms-er's down ! yay !Okay now for the very last entertainment, VIVO ! Damn, It's warm outside.

You shot my heart, dear friend. and I'm glad . ;)
& oh, you know you make my stomache flip, hon.
You all do, sometimes.

so Today was alright. Donuts were yeah. I should just shutmy big mouth up, next time . Well, anyway. sausages tomorrow. & I spent merely $1.10 today. ain't that good or what ? haha. Oh, stall 7's keeper is THE leader, man. haha. alright. I'd go & eat.

It's weird. I wouldn't even mind if it's that guy, but just gimme any guy that's not cute or hot, I would be like, so pissed off. Man, I'm such a hypocrite.

9:43 PM
Okay I'm taking a breather from POA right now though I still catch no balls about receivable accounts. MAN !

You know I'm this and so love, please don't play. It's in your knowledge that I will not step out of your league & I'm begging you to stop pushing. I put up with your shit , I do but does not mean my heart is ache-free. At times, I wonder, what is this attributable to ? Then again, In the name of love, I'd break a leg.

Okay, bact to studying. ah damn.

It's like that . I could tell you once that I want to like this guy, but the very next day, I could tell you don't care ah. It's weird, though, but whatever. I mean, seriously , I dont really give a hoot. My heart is like no-man's land.

I almost not come to school today, thanks to Hailey for dragging, though it sounded like it's almost for one side's sake, but still I had fun starting the day that way. man, today was nice. I miss these kinds of school days. I really need to live my mornings up. Well. so I got there late, & we served detention ! yay. haha. My overcooked nuggets are not bad. nyahah.
Well okay then. that's pretty much that man.

Oh , sec-3 boy, you made me all raww. =)

Today's is Jan's day. and you should really kidnap and throw me down the cliff to a deep blue sea and scream " BITCH ! " as I'm shooting down like a bullet with all these shame. I'm not a bad person, but I'm a bad bad bad friend.

Oh , remember the teacher who called me bimbo, well this what came out from her mouth a year after : " Looking at lupita, neat girl but never draw lines ". Did you guys catch that ?. neat people, neat. haha yay. It amused me hell lots.

& when He cared, my whole world came falling down just like that. oh honey.

I dreamt that I had a tattoo on my right upper-arm, I can't quite figure out how it looked like but I know , it colorful & beautiful. I pulled a long dress over my head, so long that it swept the floor when I walked, it had my face printed on its white silky cloth. My dad, I hooked my arms around his. He called me his little girl and I call him my unsung Hero. and God, it was beautiful.

Okay, Let's pray Dionne will come. Right. bye.

& Man, This is the spirit of one who wants to get satu for her badly-spoken Malay. The schedule said read and I dozed off. Right. okay okay. Studying for real in 9 minutes. Oral today, sucked big time. I gotta chill eh.

" You think you what ? ".
yeah. I think I what.
I think I'm not one of the nicest people in the whole wide world, but I know, I'm not bad.
I think that I may not be an exactly a daughter to be proud of, but we love each other that much.
I think that I'm not fashionable, but I could pull it off just right.
I think that I could do it alone, without no guy, and I'll be just fine.
I think that my friends are the coolest.
I think that though Eminem is one of those that moms warn us of, He's still the unsung hero.
I think that I could do what people do, bigger and better, just by setting my mind & heart to it.
I think that guys come and go, seasonly.
I think I have a fair amount of happiness.
I think if I read the whole book, at least I could get better marks than if I not.
I think that I'm not a spoiled brat.
I think I could be pretty bitchy, but I know I will feel bad for being one after that.
I think that if you don't need me, I don't need you more often than not.
I think God ignores me sometimes.
I think I'm what I am. An no one could ever change my perspectives, and my views, are the one that matter.

Freedom writers is so nice. Man oh man. I want to buy Anne frank & the freedom writers diary book. Yay.

Okay. This year. Sports day was lil bit of boredom. but I could tell you, it's just a fair amount to send me off the school with something to remember. It rained again today, just like last year. Prata's up after that. It was fun, wasn't it. Yeah, today was. I mean, though my house had no captain. Well. I'm pretty tired. I wanna sleep but I have malay to whip . Well. Alright. I'd go to books. I could do so much better, remember ? haha. Okaye.

It's only forty goddamned four more days to Malay Olevel paper. I'm dead, I so am. agh, this is bullshit man. It was just yesterday that I kissed my family goodbye and hugged new year to come. Okay. satu. That woman bears no relation to me, what she can do, I could do it too, only better and bigger. Alright.


Happy birthday SU ! Happy birthday BERN ! love ya.

Okay. so here I am, finally all system go to update this book after letting it rot for weeks.

So, what's up eh. Oh well. Let's break it down.

Banana Campfire. Hailey's house has always been so, say, home-y. Like really, I couldn't even swim at my own swimming pool, damn it. Well. Anyway, Hailey's doing pretty good, and Dionne is doing very well, too. That's bonga isn't it. Well yeah.

School. Is so much fun. Like seriously, if only it came to my knowledge earlier. Say, PE Physics and all. Speaking of Pe, for the very first time in my life, I shoot a ball. Bonga !& the running part, it's exhausting, like as though my leg could just fall off if I run any further when I try to cope up with hailey's speed, but nevertheless, it gives you some self-satisfaction.The people, man, I really don't know who to start with, & all these came to light only when I'm about to leave. aww man.

Life. has been pretty much flat. I'm always the girl who spends her parents money and still think that her parents are the worst, when matter of fact, I should be much beholden that I'm born in a right family.

Basketball is so much fun.

Alright, that's pretty much that. Let's hold hand.